April 1st was my last day as an employee of Gaiam and a contributor to the development of Gaia.com. When I signed at Gaiam, Gaia.com was little more than a parked domain. The blooming of Gaia was rapid and intense. I do hope she continues to grow and evolve into a healthy and vibrant community.

Over the past 5 years, my passion was in virtual communities. Since then I've been involved in several project ranging in size from hundreds of users to hundreds of thousands of users. What was once a niche is now an industry.

Now it's time for me to focus on new adventures. I feel as though the development of social media is starting to level out. During the Web 2.0 boom, we saw massive innovations spawning all around the Web. With so many social apps to choose from these days, it's almost overwhelming. Still, most of these apps are poorly connected and we're still maintaining individual accounts on each. I'm sure that bridging this great divide will be a complete mess - at best.

So as I make me exit from the development side of the social web, I'm focusing on what can be done "in" this emerging social scene. The first experiment is what I've started calling "Digital Theatrics".

"Digital theatrics is the art of weaving a digital story in a virtual medium through social role playing. Social Role Playing is the art of impersonating a character on a social website."

I'm not going to expand on the details, but if you would like to know more - feel free to msg me about it. I've been refining the concept and now have my first client to turn this concept into a live campaign. I'm hopeful this will be the foundation for a variety of interesting services that could never be offered before the existence of the social Web.

Meanwhile, I'm still driving two very passionate ideas as hard as I can. I'm still advocating Intellectual Sustainability. To that end, I'm hoping to build the business on as much open source software as possible.

I'm also keenly interested in building a mobile career - not just for myself, but for my future employees. Many developers and designers enjoy lifestyles of telecommute because their jobs can be done remotely. I think Digital Theatrics is an even better telecommute style job.

I tested and explored this mobility over the past week. I spent 7 days in Sayulita Mexico working from various wireless Internet hotspots. The results were mixed, but promising. There's value in being "at work" in the office and face to face with your co-workers. However, there's also value in going straight from your laptop into the ocean for a quick surfing break.

In exploring all of this, I'm redesigning much of my life. I'm exiting my apartment lease, I'm selling my vehicle, and I'm hoping to travel a lot. I'm going through the process of setting up a company in Colorado and making a handful of mistakes along the way. I'm also trying to define a new business model. It's really hard to sell something when no one knows just what it is yet.

Some days I am tempted to accept another office job and continue living life in a way I know is both comfortable and safe. Still, the potential of building something new and interested is a strong motivator - the kind I haven't felt since I fully dove into my passion of virtual communities some 5 years ago.

Here's hoping for the best.

I've had a reoccurring character in my dreams through most of my adult life. She always takes on different forms; however, I always know her as the same character.

She visits me from time to time. The most wonderful dream involved the two of us jumping from a tall waterfall while holding hands. The dreams are usually short, very simple but vivid, and have a big emotional impact on me when I wake up.

Maybe a year ago, my dream girl gave me a look she'd never given me. She was angry with me, disappointed. She turned and slowly walked away. I hadn't dreamed about her again - until last night.

Last night was an extra special dream. She did something she's never done before... After a decade of silent dreams, she finally spoke to me. She said "you are special", kissed me, and then I woke up.

Dreams are funny things.

I never ever thought I'd get a chance to see them live... Tonight will be awesome!

I don't know where I picked up the habit, but I've often said "they should ____." I'm not the only one, I've heard other people do the same. Little things like:

"They should put in a traffic light here."

or

"They should lower taxes and improve the health care system."

A few years ago it stuck me while I was saying one of these "they should" things... Maybe instead of always saying "they" I should get into the habit of saying "WE"...

"We should _____."

I came here for the snowboarding, so part of me is sad to see Spring. It means my season is almost over. But, today it feels like Spring and I have to admit - it's refreshing.

Folks were out having lunch at the picnic tables today. Little bits of grass are starting to turn green. I could have worn shorts today.

Kris busted out the slack lines this afternoon. It's the first time I've been slacklining since last fall. When I first got on the line today, it felt like the first time ever. I finally did manage to walk a few steps. Watching the more experienced guys walk is kind of inspiring. It feels good.

So.. for what it's worth... welcome back, Spring...

P.S. - Spring also means another important thing in my life - it's almost time to start watching Battlestar Galactica again!

Just got back from a bowl of Pho and a walk around the Asian market. We strolled up and down the aisles of the store exploring a variety of goods I will probably never consume - or even see someone consume. I got a big kick out of the live lobster, crab, and shellfish tanks in the back. They even had a live fish tank. I never really thought about it before, but what could be fresher than buying your fish live?

The sections were mildly grouped by regions of the East: Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean, even a small section of Idian stuff... To be honest, I was never sure where one section ended and another started.

After a while, I started to feel a little bit submerged. The feeling reminded me of how I felt when I was walking around the super market in Chile - trying to figure out what or where certain things were. Suddenly I realized I was still right here in Colorado. It was just for a moment, but I almost felt like I was on vacation. It was surprisingly refreshing!

I would undo the rule of thumb. I think it's unfair and makes the pinky feel less useful.

Last night I went to see one of my all time favorite artists, Infected Mushroom. Not only am I a long time fan, but I have a deeper connection with the lead performer's roots in the demo scene.

The last time I saw IM perform, it was an absolutely amazing and shocking show. I met people that changed my life signficantly. It was a great night.

Last night's show was a significant evolution from the performance I saw a few years ago. They've added a live drummer and guitarist to the group. Amit has gone from being very active with the equipment to mostly singing vocals and working the crowd... and damn he's good at working the crowd. The music has evolved too. The whole package feels so much more... theatrical.

I expected a very small crowd at the Fox Theater. I was there a while back to see Vast (another band that deeply resonates with me). That show barely drew anyone, and Vast has a huge following. As underground as IM is, I expected the same kind of small draw. I couldn't have been more wrong. There was barely room to dance anywhere in the entire place - and it didn't keep anyone from doing it. I had no idea there were so many IM fans in Boulder.

The one thing that turned me off was the amount of youthful raver types. It's been a long time since I've been surrounded by people huffing vicks and sucking on pacifiers. The previous IM shows I've attended were drawing much more mature crowds. Still, I appreciated all of the light show performers, the poi, the liquid dancers, and the stoke. Being submerged in that scene sure brought on a flood of various memories all connected together.

The track list was perfect with songs like Deeply Disturbed, Cities of the Future, Converting Vegetarians, and even some random 80's lyrics thrown in for kicks. The opening DJ also mixed one of my favorite new songs, "The World Is Mine".

Here's a video from an older IM performance of Deeply Disturbed. Not only is the stage performance different now, but the music has a slightly different feel with a live drummer and guitar. In fact, many of the songs feel a lot richer and powerful with the new stage show.


It's rare and special when a performer can keep an audience entranced the entire set. IM did this perfectly. The builds were all dead on. On top of that, they came out for two different encores. The first one was planned and they came out knowing exactly what they were going to perform. The second one was obviously spontaneous as they huddled and talked a bit before performing and during the last song they did a lot more communication before big shifts in the music. It was a very special treat.

I almost skipped this show... I'm so glad I got to see it. I hear they're playing in Denver at the Church in a couple of weeks. I've had a lot of good memories at the Church already. I may have to go see them perform again.

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... Legos ...
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I struggle with the notion that I hold myself back from happiness because of a selfless nature I inherited from my mother. This morning I set out on a path of self preservation and made decisions to take care of my own crucial interests. Moments later I found myself awash in empathy towards an individual who, in all fairness, fully earned the rejection I was imposing.

Mom takes care of everyone. She's lost if she doesn't have someone to take care of. She'll give up everything she has to take care of someone. Her mother was the same way. Being good "Christains" they called it. I don't keep the faith myself, I'm not sure why this nature burns so strong inside of me. Maybe they got to me to young and early, as part of me feels this is the right way to live.

So this morning I took a bold step towards being a confident man who knows his own value. Then, not 15 minutes later, covered in snow and searching for a warm pair of gloves... I started to melt. A look on someone's face sent me collapsed on the floor looking down at my crossed legs.

"Who's life is this? Oh yeah, it's mine..."

Now I feel betrayed not only by someone else, but by myself. I want to believe that my empathy is a good thing. I don't. Not only have I failed to set myself on the path of happiness, I've reinforced to someone else that I will tolerate abuse.

I rarely see mom happy. It took me a long time to realize this.

Yesterday began so well. It ended so poorly. Two days out of a lifetime seem like so little. Two days in the grand scheme of the universe seem so meaningless. Two days meant everything to me.