Gaia Community: Zaskoda's Blog

Another Shift In Life

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:01:41 -0000

I just returned from my first attendence of Burning Man. I've failed to attend a few times, but finally made it for 2008. I could rant and rave, I could go on for pages. I will sum it up merely by saying it was life altering.

Upon my return, I found the state of the world to be considerably different than expected. The lights inside many people I know are much brighter than I remember. Yet, the purpose, structure, and flow of our society seems even more poorly constructed than I recall - and I was always of the mind set that we could do so much better.

The notion of community - physical community - is resonating deeply inside of me. Many conversations seem to be drifting to a single point around this topic. I'm excited to see what it is that will eventually come from all of this.

I took a few pictures and videos... This is my favorite of the batch:

I posted more media here on flickr.

Other interesting things struck me on my return from Burning Man - one of them being here on Gaia. I found some serious - and much needed - house cleaning on the site. Gone is the front page and content sections. The focus now seems to be community. I'm happy to finally see this shift. The notion of blending content and community was an extreme topic of debate from early on. I feel the pure community approach will yield a stronger community in the long run.

I also heard about other shifts in Gaia that made me a bit sad. I don't want to jump in, but those who know will know exactly what I mean. To those touched by this, my heart is with you. Let me know if I can be of any level of support in any way what so ever.

I'm off to engage this structure we call society yet again. Be well, be happy, and don't take anything too serious.

With Love,
Scott

A New Adventure: Digital Theatrics

Thu, 22 May 2008 18:58:30 -0000

April 1st was my last day as an employee of Gaiam and a contributor to the development of Gaia.com. When I signed at Gaiam, Gaia.com was little more than a parked domain. The blooming of Gaia was rapid and intense. I do hope she continues to grow and evolve into a healthy and vibrant community.

Over the past 5 years, my passion was in virtual communities. Since then I've been involved in several project ranging in size from hundreds of users to hundreds of thousands of users. What was once a niche is now an industry.

Now it's time for me to focus on new adventures. I feel as though the development of social media is starting to level out. During the Web 2.0 boom, we saw massive innovations spawning all around the Web. With so many social apps to choose from these days, it's almost overwhelming. Still, most of these apps are poorly connected and we're still maintaining individual accounts on each. I'm sure that bridging this great divide will be a complete mess - at best.

So as I make me exit from the development side of the social web, I'm focusing on what can be done "in" this emerging social scene. The first experiment is what I've started calling "Digital Theatrics".

"Digital theatrics is the art of weaving a digital story in a virtual medium through social role playing. Social Role Playing is the art of impersonating a character on a social website."

I'm not going to expand on the details, but if you would like to know more - feel free to msg me about it. I've been refining the concept and now have my first client to turn this concept into a live campaign. I'm hopeful this will be the foundation for a variety of interesting services that could never be offered before the existence of the social Web.

Meanwhile, I'm still driving two very passionate ideas as hard as I can. I'm still advocating Intellectual Sustainability. To that end, I'm hoping to build the business on as much open source software as possible.

I'm also keenly interested in building a mobile career - not just for myself, but for my future employees. Many developers and designers enjoy lifestyles of telecommute because their jobs can be done remotely. I think Digital Theatrics is an even better telecommute style job.

I tested and explored this mobility over the past week. I spent 7 days in Sayulita Mexico working from various wireless Internet hotspots. The results were mixed, but promising. There's value in being "at work" in the office and face to face with your co-workers. However, there's also value in going straight from your laptop into the ocean for a quick surfing break.

In exploring all of this, I'm redesigning much of my life. I'm exiting my apartment lease, I'm selling my vehicle, and I'm hoping to travel a lot. I'm going through the process of setting up a company in Colorado and making a handful of mistakes along the way. I'm also trying to define a new business model. It's really hard to sell something when no one knows just what it is yet.

Some days I am tempted to accept another office job and continue living life in a way I know is both comfortable and safe. Still, the potential of building something new and interested is a strong motivator - the kind I haven't felt since I fully dove into my passion of virtual communities some 5 years ago.

Here's hoping for the best.

My Dream Girl

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:37:16 -0000

I've had a reoccurring character in my dreams through most of my adult life. She always takes on different forms; however, I always know her as the same character.

She visits me from time to time. The most wonderful dream involved the two of us jumping from a tall waterfall while holding hands. The dreams are usually short, very simple but vivid, and have a big emotional impact on me when I wake up.

Maybe a year ago, my dream girl gave me a look she'd never given me. She was angry with me, disappointed. She turned and slowly walked away. I hadn't dreamed about her again - until last night.

Last night was an extra special dream. She did something she's never done before... After a decade of silent dreams, she finally spoke to me. She said "you are special", kissed me, and then I woke up.

Dreams are funny things.

Something good is gonna happen...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:52:17 -0000

I never ever thought I'd get a chance to see them live... Tonight will be awesome!

They Should -> We Should

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:58:45 -0000

I don't know where I picked up the habit, but I've often said "they should ____." I'm not the only one, I've heard other people do the same. Little things like:

"They should put in a traffic light here."

or

"They should lower taxes and improve the health care system."

A few years ago it stuck me while I was saying one of these "they should" things... Maybe instead of always saying "they" I should get into the habit of saying "WE"...

"We should _____."

A Touch of Spring

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:45:59 -0000

Slacklining Last Fall

I came here for the snowboarding, so part of me is sad to see Spring. It means my season is almost over. But, today it feels like Spring and I have to admit - it's refreshing.

Folks were out having lunch at the picnic tables today. Little bits of grass are starting to turn green. I could have worn shorts today.

Kris busted out the slack lines this afternoon. It's the first time I've been slacklining since last fall. When I first got on the line today, it felt like the first time ever. I finally did manage to walk a few steps. Watching the more experienced guys walk is kind of inspiring. It feels good.

So.. for what it's worth... welcome back, Spring...

P.S. - Spring also means another important thing in my life - it's almost time to start watching Battlestar Galactica again!

Traveling The World On A Sunday Afternoon

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:22:46 -0000

Just got back from a bowl of Pho and a walk around the Asian market. We strolled up and down the aisles of the store exploring a variety of goods I will probably never consume - or even see someone consume. I got a big kick out of the live lobster, crab, and shellfish tanks in the back. They even had a live fish tank. I never really thought about it before, but what could be fresher than buying your fish live?

The sections were mildly grouped by regions of the East: Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean, even a small section of Idian stuff... To be honest, I was never sure where one section ended and another started.

After a while, I started to feel a little bit submerged. The feeling reminded me of how I felt when I was walking around the super market in Chile - trying to figure out what or where certain things were. Suddenly I realized I was still right here in Colorado. It was just for a moment, but I almost felt like I was on vacation. It was surprisingly refreshing!

If you could undo one rule, what would it be?

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:04:14 -0000

I would undo the rule of thumb. I think it's unfair and makes the pinky feel less useful.

Deeply Distrubed

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:47:57 -0000

Last night I went to see one of my all time favorite artists, Infected Mushroom. Not only am I a long time fan, but I have a deeper connection with the lead performer's roots in the demo scene.

The last time I saw IM perform, it was an absolutely amazing and shocking show. I met people that changed my life signficantly. It was a great night.

Last night's show was a significant evolution from the performance I saw a few years ago. They've added a live drummer and guitarist to the group. Amit has gone from being very active with the equipment to mostly singing vocals and working the crowd... and damn he's good at working the crowd. The music has evolved too. The whole package feels so much more... theatrical.

I expected a very small crowd at the Fox Theater. I was there a while back to see Vast (another band that deeply resonates with me). That show barely drew anyone, and Vast has a huge following. As underground as IM is, I expected the same kind of small draw. I couldn't have been more wrong. There was barely room to dance anywhere in the entire place - and it didn't keep anyone from doing it. I had no idea there were so many IM fans in Boulder.

The one thing that turned me off was the amount of youthful raver types. It's been a long time since I've been surrounded by people huffing vicks and sucking on pacifiers. The previous IM shows I've attended were drawing much more mature crowds. Still, I appreciated all of the light show performers, the poi, the liquid dancers, and the stoke. Being submerged in that scene sure brought on a flood of various memories all connected together.

The track list was perfect with songs like Deeply Disturbed, Cities of the Future, Converting Vegetarians, and even some random 80's lyrics thrown in for kicks. The opening DJ also mixed one of my favorite new songs, "The World Is Mine".

Here's a video from an older IM performance of Deeply Disturbed. Not only is the stage performance different now, but the music has a slightly different feel with a live drummer and guitar. In fact, many of the songs feel a lot richer and powerful with the new stage show.

It's rare and special when a performer can keep an audience entranced the entire set. IM did this perfectly. The builds were all dead on. On top of that, they came out for two different encores. The first one was planned and they came out knowing exactly what they were going to perform. The second one was obviously spontaneous as they huddled and talked a bit before performing and during the last song they did a lot more communication before big shifts in the music. It was a very special treat.

I almost skipped this show... I'm so glad I got to see it. I hear they're playing in Denver at the Church in a couple of weeks. I've had a lot of good memories at the Church already. I may have to go see them perform again.

What gave you the most joy as a child?

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 21:05:24 -0000

.
... Legos ...
.

Snowy Monday Morning Thoughts

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:33:46 -0000

I struggle with the notion that I hold myself back from happiness because of a selfless nature I inherited from my mother. This morning I set out on a path of self preservation and made decisions to take care of my own crucial interests. Moments later I found myself awash in empathy towards an individual who, in all fairness, fully earned the rejection I was imposing.

Mom takes care of everyone. She's lost if she doesn't have someone to take care of. She'll give up everything she has to take care of someone. Her mother was the same way. Being good "Christains" they called it. I don't keep the faith myself, I'm not sure why this nature burns so strong inside of me. Maybe they got to me to young and early, as part of me feels this is the right way to live.

So this morning I took a bold step towards being a confident man who knows his own value. Then, not 15 minutes later, covered in snow and searching for a warm pair of gloves... I started to melt. A look on someone's face sent me collapsed on the floor looking down at my crossed legs.

"Who's life is this? Oh yeah, it's mine..."

Now I feel betrayed not only by someone else, but by myself. I want to believe that my empathy is a good thing. I don't. Not only have I failed to set myself on the path of happiness, I've reinforced to someone else that I will tolerate abuse.

I rarely see mom happy. It took me a long time to realize this.

Yesterday began so well. It ended so poorly. Two days out of a lifetime seem like so little. Two days in the grand scheme of the universe seem so meaningless. Two days meant everything to me.

Morning Analytics

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:20:05 -0000

Groggy in the AM
Pushing through the day
Looking for the reasons
To keep going on this way

Dreaming of a place
That seems so far away
Where waves crash on beaches
And the kids go out and play

What's your relationship to your body like?

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 22:48:47 -0000

I've always thought of it like a machine I was trapped inside of. You can't even pull over and get out for pee breaks. I used to really abuse my machine. My diet was horrible and I had no conception of exercise and body work. I would also abuse my body. You might catch me trying to jump my bicycle over a 6 foot tall mound of dirt, riding a skateboard off of a picnic table, or seeing how far off of the trampoline I can fly.

Over the years, I've learned how to take much better care of my machine. I feed it cleaner food, supply it with much more water, feed it more vitamins and less chemicals, and I perform lots of maintenance such as stretching, exercising, and getting the occasional massage treatment.

Still, I tend to abuse it just the same. Now I'm sending it off of huge piles of snow with a board strapped to it's feet, getting it rolled under waves while clinging to an overly floaty surf board, and I'm still taking that bicycle places I shouldn't.

About the abuse... There's this ever changing quote floating around.. one iteration goes something like this:

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting 'what a ride!'

The Dancers

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:37:45 -0000

Like a couple dancing over the ages,
in and out of each other's space,
steps take days and moves take years,
and they never forget each other's face.

One chases while the other runs.
Charged and empassioned they embrace.
Moments later they trade places;
now it's time for the runner to chase.

Years slide by into decades,
and a chance at life slowly fades.
Tradional dreams linger as fantasy,
because of the choices they've made.

They know when they're alone,
one morning they'll wake up face to face.
They keep looking but never find,
someone else to take that place.

They're caught int their own cycle
where they can never seem to find
that they're both finally there
feeling the same at the same time.

Soup

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:41:22 -0000

In a cosmic bowl of soup you find our Gaia. Our Gaia is it's own soup, a soup of life. In this soup of life, is a massive dash of humans. All these humans swim around in the soup. With their personalities and their attitudes, they influence each other's flavors. There's a happy one, there's a sad one, there's an angry one, there's a crazy one... There are intellectuals and emotionals and all kinds of different types of people on this planet in this universe tonight.

Truth

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:36:21 -0000

I have a philosophy in life. This philosophy I sum up as "One Truth". I consider myself rather scientifically minded. To that end, I realize there's not much, if anything, I can ever really know. That doesn't leave any room in life for faith.

Still, sometimes we just kinda have to go with our gut instincts and build our philosophies on life on top of that. For example, I tend to feel like there's value in prayer and there's something going on with karma.

So, back to the "one truth" philosophy. This is, perhaps, one of the most core and fundamental philosophies that defines who I have developed into as a person. I tend to believe that, beyond our own perspectives of reality, there exists a true reality that we are attempting to perceive.

This is seemingly in contradiction to what a lot of modern thinkers believe. As an example, there is this notion that reality doesn't exist beyond ourselves and/or that our own mental projections are creating and forming the reality around us. However, given the broad scope of the idea that there is "one truth", I could easily say that if we are forming reality around us, then the one truth is exactly that "we are forming reality around us"... Understand how this works? Whatever the one truth is, it is, indeed, a truth.

This foundation is great because it gives hope to the idea of always trying to seek out the truth that exists beyond our altered perceptions of reality. I love that science works to do exactly this.

The human mind is extremely easy to trick. Instead of helping each other understand our true reality, we humans often tend to enjoy confusing each other either as a form of entertainment or for greedier reasons such as personal gain.

Having adopted this foundation in my youth, I've struggled and fought with myself. I've learned that I will lie to myself without hesitation. I will tend to believe those things that make me "feel" the best. I've recognized these patterns in myself and have worked hard to break them.

Unfortunately, I see these same patterns all around me! Sometimes I see people I care about and I get a strong feeling that they're running from what they know to be true. In fact, I see this kind of thing almost non stop.

I also know that I must be living in my own false reality... because my brain isn't capable of grasping it all... or understanding it all.. and I'm just as human as everyone else.

Still... this "one truth" thing... it's taken me to odd places. There is nothing I cherish more about another person than hearing absolute truths - even when I find them emotionally negative. There is nothing that hurts me more, emotionally, than knowing someone is telling me a lie or even hiding truth. It's sad when someone does it out of instinct... It's insulting when they do it consciously.

I do tend to believe that if we could be transparent to each other, something amazing and wonderful would emerge... something beyond what we're able to imagine. However, I think it would only take a single lie to destroy it.

I wonder when the human brain developed to a point where it learned to lie?

Welcome Velzy

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:34:52 -0000

A very dear friend of mine recently joined Gaia. It just so happens that she's also moving up to Colorado very soon. If you have the time, feel free to welcome Velzy.

For The About Page

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:31:46 -0000

Howdy,

Name and Title

I'm Scott Dudley... My assigned work title here at Gaia is:

"Community Architect and Guru"

I totally didn't pick the Guru part, but I like it! ;)

What's your role at Gaia Community?

I've done so many varied things, I'm not entirely sure! These days I mix my time between mapping out how new site features and systems should flow and actually dabbling with a bit of actual site development.

What do you most enjoy doing (or what are your greatest passions)?

Snowboarding... mostly... at least for right now. Really, I've become terribly one minded lately. Snowboarding is my meditation, my teacher, my zen, my love, my release, and my passion. In the back of my mind, surfing keeps trying to lure me away.

What's your favorite thing about our community?

Integrity... I've worked with a lot of different communities over the years... the people here at Gaia make it unique... and it truly is amazing.

What do you love about working here?

The environment. The people are amazing. I've met so many warm and welcoming souls - I can't describe the vibe. I've also met people who continue to blow me away with their profound perspectives on living. The office itself is a wonder. I'm surrounded by plants and crystals. I love looking around. Just outside the window is an amazing view of the mountains. It's peaceful and inspiring.

[ Meet the rest of the Gaia Team ]

What color is your current state of mind?

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:08:02 -0000

Blue... because it's her favorite color... and because I'm blue without her... I would use thick oil based paints because my feelings are thick and mucky. I would paint a big wave, because she's going surfing... and because she's always happiest when she's in the water. A big thick blue wave, crashing against the shores of my mind over and over...

Thanksmas

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:24:21 -0000

For years my famiy did the typical Christmas and Thanksgiving gatherings. In addition to our own family, we had gatherings with my extended family at my Grandmother's house. In time, my brother had his own family and had to balance his gatherings against both ours and his wife's family gatherings. Scheduling was chaos.

We also are the type of family that dislikes the commercialization of the holidays. We still played along for years, buying each other gifts because that's what you're supposed to do.

We finally broke free. A few years ago we redefined our holiday. First, we decided to pass on Thanksgiving and Christmas altogether and create a new holiday - Thanksmas! We went back and forth between calling it Thanksmas and Chrisgiving - but ultimately Thankmas won out.

So each year we pick a day between the two holidays and my family gathers for food, social interaction, and gift giving.

Yes, we still give gifts, but we changed that too. Now, no one buys gifts for any one particular person. Instead, we play White Elephant. It's cheaper, the gifts are better, people tend to get what they want, and the whole thing is way more fun.

So what do we do on Christmas and Thanksgiving? Well, my brother's family can has time to share with everyone else. My Grandmother is gone so we don't have the extended family gatherings anymore. Me? I usually go snowboarding.

~Scott